Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
