so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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