First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize