community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
