...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Randomize