thus making me awesome and them whores
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
