Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
