would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
