Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
