You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
