Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
