so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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