he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
