So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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