What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It's never too late to be topless.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
