i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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