it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
