Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
no you cant smoke seaweed
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Randomize
