So drunk its hurt
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Someone shattered a urinal.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
