OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
