Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize