apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
