i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
