Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
