pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Randomize
