similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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