Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
