This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
