I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
