i already hear my dad disowning me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You need Xanax blowdarts
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
