Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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