i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
