Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Can vaginas get frostbite?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
