thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
