how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
