tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
