I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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