That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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