we have pet lesbian snakes
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
