Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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