bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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