you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
