My friends, they love my intelligence
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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