Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
