in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
