neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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