omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
