Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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