idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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