I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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