so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
