He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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