I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
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thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
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Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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