Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
