he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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