you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
