also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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