There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
how does that bad decision feel?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
