I wish I could punch you in the face.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I just found puke in my bra..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
