Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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