I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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